What is it worth?

Several years ago, I attended a formal ceremony with the Fire Department for the funeral of a retired firefighter who had served long before I had become a member. I regret to use the term ‘routine’ when referring to these events, but they do happen with a disheartening frequency in this service, so when I use the term ‘formal ceremony’ to describe this, it is only because this happens quite a few times during the year.

Of the many funerals I’ve attended, there was one that really touched me and changed the way I’ve looked at my family and the life that I lead.

As the life of the man was described in great detail during the ceremony, I realized that I had neither known him personally nor known anything about the life had lived.

He had lived the life of a professional musician from an early age when Nashville artists picked him up due to his amazing steel guitar (also known as ‘lap steel’) playing. He was given an amazing gift with this ability that brought him to stages around the world as a star player. Next to the pulpit stood his instrument in silent tribute to this part of his life and the gift he had also given with his talents to this church.

He had toured with some amazing names that have dotted the country music landscape of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. Names that are famous even to this day were listed as his accolades.

His life changed when he met a woman and fell in love. He decided to settl down, have children, and leave behind the life of a travelling musician to become a faithful husband and devoted father.

It was at this point that he decided to join the fire department, which has long symbolized the lighthouse of stability in communities and within the lives of its members. This was a perfect match that allowed him to be with his kids as they grew up while also giving back to the community.

He was well loved by all the members of the department and several of my older colleagues gave to the eulogy in the form of stories of their past experiences.

His musical abilities did not fade with his new life as passing musicians would often get him to come out and play in nearby venues during the years. He also headed up the band at his local church.

The most amazing and impacting portion of the service came at the end when each of his four children read aloud letters that each had written to him after he had passed.

It is in these letters that not only did he find immortality but that my own realizations of my life came to fruition.

As each of his children read, I realized just how much this man had impacted the lives of his children. Not only did they love their father, as you would expect from a close family like this, but they loved their relationship with their parents so much so that after each one of them had grown up and gone to college, they all had purposely moved back home, bought property, and build their own homes in the area that surrounded their parents. They literally lived on the same block.

Each of his children now had children of their own. A picture emerged of a huge family that did everything together: weekend family dinners, vacations, and camping trips.

Their father’s retirement dream come true was in meeting those grandchildren every day when the bus dropped them off at the end of his drive way and spending the rest of the day helping with homework, teaching, playing, making dinner, and spending time together.

There was a tremendous amount of love in this family, and you could feel this in the tears and emotions that poured from each of the four.

Each letter had stated just how hard their lives would be without him there as a major influence not only on their dreams but on their children’s as well.

This was an incredible man with an incredible gift for loving.

Each member of that family will love and remember him for the rest of their lives as they will have these memories to treasure each and every day.

In thinking about my own life as I sat there, I could feel that if ever there was a way to be remembered, this would be the way that I would want it to be. This would be the impact that I would want to leave behind. This is the life that I would want to lead.

His children now live on… together… but without him. In his passing, they are amiss from his presence, but not from his life lessons and love… in that, they are guided daily and know that his image lives on.

jp